No One Said This Had to Have a Point

So we're sitting in the cheapie movie theatre watching The Stone of Destiny when the entire row of seats begins to shudder and then suddenly mbf disappears from beside me.

Me: *looks down at mbf on the floor*
Mbf: What the f@%k? *tries to move*
Me: Are you okay? *stiffles a giggle*
Mbf: My seat just broke in two places! *struggles to get up off the floor*
People Across the Aisle: *laughing and pointing at us in the dark*
Me: *hauling on his free arm* C'mon you, get up off the floor.
People Two Rows Ahead of Us: Shhhhhhh...!
Me: *whispers* You're not hurt are you?
Mbf: No... *jumps to his feet and sharply straightens clothing*
Me: Oh, sit down already. Here: take my old seat. Now are you understanding what's been said?
Mbf: No... not really.
Me: How far back?
Mbf: *shrugs*
Me: *rolls eyes and starts the re-cap* Okay, well you see, the two main guys went to the pub to...

In other words, if his seat hadn't disintegrated beneath him, he would have sat through the whole movie catching nary a bloody word. For some reason mbf has a really hard time understanding Scottish accents, and even most English accents for that matter - which surprising really, considering the fact that he lived there for a bit.